9時半起床。早い。えらい。パン、昨日残りとかぼちゃ、ポタージュ、ヨーグルトを食べる。食後にコーヒー。出勤まで2時間もある。急に時間を与えられると何をしたら良いか分からなくなる。時間が無いなら無いで、バタバタしてムカついているのにね。時間を効率良く使いたいけど、効率だけだと心が死ぬのも分かっているのでどうしようかなあ、といった感じです。とりあえず10分ストレッチした。そして近所の喫煙所で一服。こんなにぼーっと出来る時間があるのはありがたい。Twitterのタイムラインを雑にスクロールすると、自分の傾向なのか、たくさんの本の情報が入ってくる。そういえば最近、本を読んでなかったなと思うと昨日からある、なにかしら文を読みたい欲が溢れたので勤務の休憩中に読むための本を選ぼう。悩んだ結果、恩田陸『象と耳鳴り』にした。休憩中に読みやすい短編集。

いきなりだが帰宅である。本を選んだが疲れて休憩中に読んでいないし、本を持って行ったことすら忘れていて、この日記の下書きを読んでそういえば私、本を選んでたわ、と思った。今は風呂上がり、夜食にうどんを食べている最中。えーと、仕事は何事もなく終わった。1回目の休憩でファミリーマートへ行き、もちもち平打ち生パスタ　海老のトマトクリームを買った。2回目の休憩は死んでた。そろそろ業務が終わりそうな頃、先輩に「今日この後予定ありますか？」と聞かれて「特に無いです！」と言ったら「みんなでコンビニでお酒買って飲みましょ。」「是非！」となった。私含め年頃の女の子たちがコンビニ前のベンチで、缶を持ち肉まんを食べ、くっちゃべってた。青春って感じじゃん。わざわざ中に入るような店に行かないところが良い。1時間半くらい寒空の下にいて解散。帰宅してビーフシチューの残りとフランスパンを食べ、風呂に入って今に至る。くたくたでおやすみなさい。

In English.

I woke up at 9:30. Early. I’m so good.For breakfast, I had some bread, yesterday’s leftovers, pumpkin potage, and yogurt. Coffee after lunch. I had two whole hours before I had to leave for work. When I suddenly have a lot of free time, I never know what to do with myself. If I don’t have time, I get frustrated because I don’t have time. But when I do, I feel restless. I want to use my time efficiently, but I also know that chasing efficiency alone can drain me mentally. So, what should I do?

For now, I did a 10-minute stretch. Then, I went to a nearby smoking area for a cigarette. As I scrolled through my Twitter timeline, I noticed a lot of book-related posts. Maybe that’s just the phase I’m in right now. I realized, I haven’t read a book in a while, and the urge to read—something I had already felt yesterday—grew even stronger. After much deliberation, I decided on Elephants and Tinnitus by Riku Onda, a short story collection that seemed perfect for reading during breaks.

And suddenly, I was on my way home.I had chosen a book, but I was too tired to actually read it during my break. In fact, I even forgot I had brought it with me. Then, when I read over the draft of this diary entry, I was like, Oh yeah, I did pick a book.Now, I’m eating udon after taking a bath. Work was uneventful. During my first break, I went to Family Mart and got the chewy flat pasta with tomato cream and prawns. My second break was dead. Right before finishing work, a senior colleague asked me, Do you have any plans after this?

“Nothing in particular!”

“Let’s all go to the convenience store, grab some drinks, and hang out.”

“By all means!”

And just like that, a group of girls around my age, including myself, ended up sitting on a bench in front of the convenience store, holding canned drinks, eating steamed meat buns, and chatting. It felt like a scene straight out of our youth.

After about an hour and a half in the cold, we called it a night. I went home, finished the rest of the beef stew with some French bread, took a bath, and now I’m here. I’m exhausted. Time for bed.